Frustrated

I am really really frustrated. I have spent my whole summer looking again for a teaching job. I have applied to 61 school districts. Basically school districts within 2 hours of my house any direction. I have had 2 interviews and nothing came of them. I am getting so discouraged. I don't know what to do anymore. I subbed last year which was ok. I loved having my long term. I have someone who wants me to do her maternity leave, but that is just maybe 6 weeks not long enough to make me want to just sub. There are things happening which make that choice more difficult. First, for those of you who don't know both of my parents are unemployed. My dad lost his job working for GM as a project manager in December. He hasn't been able to work since he has had a back surgery and going to be 2 hip replacement surgeries. So I don't think he will work until earliest November if he can find work. Then there is my mom she lost her job as a computer programmer for VNA 2 weeks ago. So now everyone in my family does not have a job. If you know my parents this is hell for many reasons. They bicker a lot and make my life hell. My parents in particular my mother tells me what to do with my life and don't leave me alone about it. For example, I plan on getting my 4th and 5th grade endorsement. She says to me will that even help you get a job. So unless I do what she wants it's not good enough. It never is. Another issue with none of us working we have a drastic cut in our income so drastic things may happen such as house might have to be sold.

Due to everyone being unemployed I need to get out of my parents house for my sanity. Here lies the problem. If I can't find anything but subbing I will have an unsure income. Therefore I do not feel it is a good idea to make a financial obligation when I have no idea if I can work enough hours. Subbing can be far and few between.  Now some of you may say well why don't you get a retail or food service job. I didn't spend 4 years of my life to do that. I refuse to change my careers when I invested all the time in money into doing what I love. Also, if I get out of education if I ever go back I will be farther behind others instead of getting a head. Another reason I don't think I can move out is my teaching license expires next June. So one of two things has to happen. I either have to have my own classroom and have someone from the state come observe me or I have to earn 3 semester hours of graduate credit. I don't believe in taking a class if there is no point. I don't want to start my masters because I could be leaving if I got a job and I don't want to loose the credits. If if come to taking classes, I have found an online program through Ohio University that will allow me to add 4th and 5th grade to my current K-3 license. I would start in September and end in June. It is a total of 18 graduate credits and will cost roughly $5,000.  So that would leave me busy at nights and weekends not allowing me to get another job besides subbing.

Here lies another problem. There are no health benefits in subbing. I currently am paying my own crappy health insurance. I am not able to qualify for real health insurance because even though I have nothing medically wrong with me besides something called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome which effects normal periods and I will have to have meds to have kids. There is nothing else wrong with me. However, the health insurance companies have told me this and denied me because of my weight.  So I have the crappiest short term health insurance which will expire in December. Some of you may say well loose weight. Well it isn't that simple. Try living in this 1000% stress and hostile environment. It is hard to stick to anything with them around.

I pray that something happens and lets me have a sense of normality. I am so tired of having let downs after let downs along with constant feelings of worthlessness.  So hopefully in the next 10 days something happens. I need for it to happen to keep my sanity.

New Year New Life

So I had recently decided that I am going to change my life for the better. I had recently applied for my own health insurance since I was kicked off my parents and I receive no benefits being a substitute teacher. I applied to I think 3-4 companies and I was denied coverage not because I have major health problems, but I have a weight and height combo that they won't cover. So even though I do not have diabetes, high blood pressure or anything else associated with being overweight, they refused to cover me. I even asked if I paid more if they would cover me and they said no. So desperate to get coverage I called a company and said this is my height and weight combo will you cover me. They told me the only thing I can get is short term coverage. Its a 6 month plan which I can renew once for a total coverage of 1 year. Since I am in a field where there is really only 1 time of the year to be hired (summer). I had to come up with something. So I decided I am going to go on a diet/ lifestyle change. I am not really following any set plan. However, I am following to a point the Weight Watcher's point system. I look at what I am eating more and I can eat essentially what I want just in moderation. I am paying more attention to eating only 1 serving of whatever it is I am consuming. It's hard at times getting used to it, but I have been doing pretty good. I have currently lost about 20 pounds from my highest weight. I no it may not seem like much, but everytime I get on the scale and see 1 pound loss I am happy. I want so desperately to loose a total of about 100 pounds. I am going slowly and it's ok I know anything that happens too fast will not last. I need to do a plan I can follow and live with. Otherwise, I will not be successful in the long run and relapse to square one. So I am hoping by this summer to have lost 50 pounds. I have 5 months so I hope to get there. I then hope I can reapply for health insurance and no be denied again. That was such a humiliating thing.

Life?

So I have been desperately looking for a teaching job in grades K-3 which is all I can teach in Ohio. I want to stay in Northeast Ohio because it is what I know and where I feel comfortable. I have submitted 25 job applications. From all of those I have had only 1 interview for a position which I didn't get. The only reason I got the interview was because I had help from the President of the school board who got me the interview. I have been looking for postings everyday on the Ohio Department of Education website, each individual school district's websites in the counties I would be ok living in, and even Cleveland.com. I do not know what is happening. If I am doing something wrong I wish someone would tell me. I am a graduate with a 4.0 GPA and have my teaching license so I don't get what the problem is. I wish someone would give me a chance. There are jobs in out of state, I am so scared to leave since it is like North and South Carolina, Florida, Texas and Las Vegas. That is too far for comfort for an only child. I am tired of living in limbo having no idea where I am going or where I will be.  Also, I cannot stay here with my parents much longer. When I am here I get severely depressed and wish I could run away. They are on me like none other and make me feel bad. My only release is my boyfriend Robert. I see him about every other weekend because he lives 45 minutes away. We have talked about moving in together, but it is hard to make plans when I don't know what I will be doing. So here it is August 1. My babysitting job is ending on August 6 which means no more money.  I have no teaching job and no idea what I will do come August 25 when most schools are starting again. The postings for openings are getting fewer and fewer. I just wish my life would figure itself out. I need a break please!!!!

Currently Listening Mamma Mia! The Musical Based on the Songs of ABBA: A Decca Broadway Original Cast Recording (1999 London Cast) By Benny Andersson, Julian Poole, Jenny Galloway, Nicolas Colicos, Paul Clarkson, Bjorn Ulvaeus, Lisa Stokke, Eliza Lumley, Melissa Gibson, Siobhan McCarthy, Louise Plowright, Jenny Galloway, Bjorn Ulvaeus, Stig Anderson SOS see related

My Graduation

After 4 years I have graduated from Bowling Green State University. I recieved my Bachelors of Science in Education. I majored in Early Childhood Education which means I can teach PreK-3rd grade. I graduated with a 4.0 G.P.A. which means I get the honors of Summa Cum Laude the highest honors you can graduate with. This year has been a real challenge from methods to student teaching. I wanted to give up so many times, but I made it and I have my wonderful boyfriend Robert to thank for helping me get through it!

Family at lunch

Robert and I after I graduated

I did it!

My cake!

Currently Watching Hocus Pocus By Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kathy Najimy, Omri Katz, Thora Birch see related